"Home"

Well, I realize that Dylan has already posted a blog for this evening, but in light of our approaching departure tomorrow morning – I thought it would only be appropriate for me to return to the blog.

It’s difficult to believe that we have been here for over a month and a half – even harder to believe that we will be returning to the states for a bit tomorrow. Nicaragua has begun to feel a bit like “a home.” I have definitely adjusted to the steady hum of routine and settled into my life down here; granted, that’s not to say that I do not miss my life at home – just that I have come to accept and embrace my life in Nicaragua.

My time in Nicaragua has been nothing short of endless blessings, personal struggles and self-growth. It is not possible to put a value on the time I have spent down here so far – only to say that the experiences I have been through and the relationships I have established with the children at the orphanage have far surpassed any expectations I might have had.

I have had the opportunity to build some amazing relationships with the fourteen children at the orphanage, but it’s hard to describe any of them. I have grown to love and admire each of the children – but in different ways. I have had the opportunity to grow with many of the children, and experience new things with each of them. A couple of weeks ago, Ismael, a five-year old, broke his arm in three places while playing at school. I took him to the hospital and sat with him while his arm was set and re-set (without any anesthetics). I have never witnessed such bravery in such a small boy. Baby Kevin said his first words to me almost a month ago – “mama.” Every day he waits by the front window, waiting for me to arrive and claps his hands screaming “mama, mama” over and over again until I pick him up so he can give me a kiss on the cheek. He’s grown so much since I first arrived. He is now learning how to feed himself – but pretends that he does not know how so that he is still allowed to sit in my lap at lunchtime. Dayana, a little five year old girl who was abused since she was two or three has slowly come out of her shell – every day she spends more and more time with the group of us and has even begun to sit in my lap and let me braid her hair…

Despite my initial belief that I would be spending the majority of my time teaching them – I find that very little time is spent teaching, while the majority of my time is spent nurturing and loving. The children and I have settled into a steady routine – only interrupted by punishments directed their way from the orphanage director. Like today for example: It was my last day before heading back to the states for a bit – and I wanted to bring a treat to the kids. Dylan and I have been saving my Pooh Bear birthday piñata for a special occasion – so I decided to bring it in to the orphanage. First, you must realize the struggle I went through to bring Pooh safely to the orphanage. Pooh is at least half my size – and an awkward animal to carry. As I lugged him from our apartment to the street – his head in one hand and his body hugged to mine with the other – I believe that every Nicaraguan member of our neighborhood came outside to watch me – as if I were a one-person parade or something. It was rather embarrassing. But, I don’t blame them for laughing at me. Anyways, once I arrived at the orphanage – with Pooh Bear safely intact, Olga – the director of the orphanage – told me that the piñata would have to be put away. Apparently all of the children were being bad today. So, as punishment, the piñata was locked inside of a room by the window – where the children could watch it all day long, just taunting them. In addition, I was advised that the children were not allowed to dance, sing, listen to music, watch tv, color, play with blocks, play with any toys, or go outside. Oh, and that they had to write the numbers 1 to 1000 in their notebooks as well as each letter of the alphabet 100 times each. Can you imagine such a punishment? I was shocked. I tried to plead on their behalf. Then on my behalf. But Olga won. So, I spent my last day at the orphanage attempting to be “stern” and making sure that the children were doing as directed. Basically, this resulted in my causing many of the children to be further punished – as I couldn’t help but laugh at many of them or help playing a few games. So – we spent a bit of “time out” in the bedrooms too.

As a farewell to me the children showered me with their English progress. They lined up and counted for me – the numbers one through ten – in English. This is a big feat mind you, as we have been working on this for over a month – and they have been struggling. Today was the first day that any of them have successfully counted to ten on their own. I am not sure I have ever been so proud…my heart swells just thinking about it.

I am excited to be returning home tomorrow – to see my friends and family. But, at the same time, I am struggling at the thought of leaving these children behind. All along I have been working with these kids assuming that I would be helping them and providing them some love and support. But, in reality – they have become a part of my family; they have taught me about love and brought me such joy. So, tomorrow I will be returning home to my family – but, at the same time, I will be leaving behind a big group of family as well…